she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
