what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
