so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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