Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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