She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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