no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
