Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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