It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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