ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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