We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
