'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I came so hard my ears popped.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
