Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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