That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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