Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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