Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
