she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
