Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
