I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
