dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
