Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
