Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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