he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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