My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I need a burrito and a hug.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
