WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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