I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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