we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
