It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
