Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
