So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
