how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
