yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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