Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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