69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
