What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
