she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
