Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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