We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
