i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
