Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
