oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
