Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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