sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
