Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Houston, we have a blender
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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