I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
