Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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