im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
