That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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