so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
