I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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