i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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