no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
